“A bridge is not just a way over; it’s a way forward.” -Mitch Album
We often think of leadership as controlled, composed, prepared. But the moments that truly define executive presence rarely happen under perfect conditions. They occur in the unplanned and unexpected moments of surprise.
Surprise, as Brené Brown describes in Atlas of the Heart, is one of the most powerful and shortest-lived emotions we experience. It erupts in an instant, breaking through our carefully crafted expectations and thrusting us into full presence. It’s raw, fast, and incredibly revealing.
In fact, Brown says that surprise has a unique ability to momentarily disable our emotional armor. That’s why it matters so much in leadership because in that instant of disarmament, how we show up reveals who we are.
The Science of Surprise: What Happens in the Brain
When something unexpected happens like a tough question in a town hall meeting, an abrupt shift in team dynamics, or an emotional curveball during a 1:1, the brain’s amygdala fires off. This is the same part of the brain that detects threat. At the same time, our prefrontal cortex, which handles rational thinking, is scrambling to adjust our internal script. According to neuroscience research, this cognitive disruption lasts just a few seconds but those seconds are everything. That’s the space Brené Brown is talking about when she emphasizes the emotional “snap” of surprise. It’s a narrow window where our practiced leadership habits haven’t kicked in yet. It’s also a moment where authenticity, vulnerability, and clarity either step forward or vanish.
What Surprise Teaches Us About Executive Presence
Leaders often focus on preparation: honing the perfect message, rehearsing the tough conversation, controlling the energy in the room, for example. But the authenticity of presence when a leader is grounded in who they are when the situation goes off-script is very powerful.
Surprise is a test of that grounding.
And, as Brown would put it, it’s also an invitation to vulnerability. Because what often follows surprise is the emotion that matters most: Fear, Joy, Shame, Hope.
Surprise is an emotional amplifier so the emotion that follows will often be felt more intensely which can be unsettling whether the news is good or bad. Leaders who can stay open during that emotional pivot show strength not through control, but through courage.
Turning Surprise into Strength
How can leaders work with surprise, rather than against it?
1. Name it to normalize it.
Borrow from Brené Brown’s emotional literacy work: say what you’re feeling. Even internally acknowledging “This caught me off guard” activates self-awareness.
2. Pause and hold space.
That tiny moment between surprise and reaction is sacred. A breath, a pause, a beat of silence signals presence, not uncertainty. It shows others you’re engaged, not reactive.
3. Lead with curiosity.
Brown reminds us that curiosity is a powerful antidote to fear. When surprised, instead of protecting your ego, try “Tell me more about that” or “That’s an angle I hadn’t considered.” Curiosity turns threat into connection.
Leading through Surprise
In today’s world of constant flux, surprise isn’t the exception but the norm. And the leaders who earn lasting trust aren’t the ones who avoid being caught off guard; they’re the ones who model how to navigate it with integrity.
Vulnerability is not weakness but the feeling of the first courageous step. And in the moments when surprise catches leaders off guard, vulnerability is essential.
Brené Brown describes surprise as “a bridge between cognition and emotions.” So next time you are surprised, remember that flash of emotion may be brief, but what comes next could define, not just the way over but the way forward, as the opening quote so beautifully explores.
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