There are some scientific reasons why emotions seem to be felt more acutely as the season’s change. Circadian rhythms, serotonin, melatonin levels, and the power of past patterning are just a few of the themes that bubble up around this topic. This time of year, I always feel emotions more acutely. Whether it was the many years of readying my four children for their school year, the impending knowledge that rain would be settling in over the Pacific Northwest in the coming months, or the excitement of the holiday season, I seem to feel things in a heightened way transitioning from summer to fall. For this reason, it seemed like a good time to talk more in-depth about How to Recognize The Information and Gifts of Our Emotions. For an overview of the 7 emotions and a reflection worksheet see the following article I published in February:
Even for those of us that practice observing our emotions regularly, there is still a temptation to ignore what our emotions are telling us at times. Suppressing them does not work and often compounds eventually lessening our insight into Self and Other Awareness and as a result, our Relationship and Organizational Awareness may suffer. Sometimes it helps to explore more about WHY it is important to continue to understand Emotional Intelligence and the role our emotions play.
Why the Information In Emotions Matters in Leadership
When we feel a certain way, it provides information to pause and look deeper versus a call to action to fight the injustice, celebrate, or speak up. While those all may be possible paths, the emotion is an indicator to look deeper, not a fact or conclusive evidence of a wrong-doing, etc. Emotional responses are deeply personal and can be caused by past patterning, concern over an uncertain future, or an event that is happening in the moment. Some emotions may be elicited by a fantasy or lie we have told ourselves or heard from someone else. Emotions may be a result of a misunderstanding. In any case, learning to differentiate the information in our emotions takes patience and perseverance but the rewards are infinite.
Emotions are useful
The Information Can Keep Us Safe
The amygdala part of our brain triggers emotional responses that send our body into Fight or Flight. This is perhaps the reason why we tend to sometimes move to action with any emotion because we are so wired to stay and face danger or flee to safety. If we are not in a life-threatening situation and can take a step back, our emotions have important messages for us that will open our eyes to many paths we are not able to see in the reactive mode.
The information is central to decision making
If we can identify a certain emotion and step back long enough to single out the gift in inherent in the emotion, we open up expanded choices and options in every decision. I have worked with many leaders over the years that believe a certain decision is governed purely by logic and rational thought only to discover the underlying emotion that is the authentic driver. It doesn’t make the decisioning path they were on wrong, but it does make it more informed and provide increased alternatives once there is alignment and awareness about the gift of the emotion.
The information helps others understand us
Particularly in leadership roles, the more you are away of your emotions and the ways they show up for you, the better understanding others will have of you. Your body language and various facial expressions can give family members, colleagues, etc. important information about how you are feeling, and they can be a resource to you in expanding your choices and options in any given situation.
The information helps us understand others
The emotional expressions of those around us offer valuable information that can enhance our social communication. Once we become well versed in identifying the information and the gift of our own emotions, we can begin to enhance our Social Awareness and tailor our communications based on what we understand from others. We can also help others, when they are open to it, recognize the information and gifts of their emotions to open expanded choices and options building a shared language that will eventually become part of our daily conversations.
As Daniel Goleman says, “If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.”
Some questions to explore:
- What percentage of the time do you see emotions as information versus a call to action?
- What benefit do you see personally from identifying the information and the gift of your emotions?
- What is the cost of not identifying the information in your emotions?
- What are three things you can do today to increase the percentage of time you expressly identify and look for the information in an emotion to expand your choices and options in any given situation? (some examples: take three deep breaths, put a delay on your email sent items, fill in the worksheet here
To end with the words of Paul Cezanne, “Genius is the ability to renew one’s emotions in daily experience.”
It is not about suppressing our emotions or putting on a brave face. It is about identifying the information in them, giving thanks for their gifts, and celebrating our innate ability to unlock choices and options that serve us and our communities in ways we couldn’t imagine just yesterday … It is about the promise of renewal which is, in truth, what the change in season always brings forth.
Cyndi Johnasson says
I literally walked this scenario this week. On a Teams videos meeting, my screen did not appear as the screen the leader was sharing, which resulted in me not being able to follow along. It brought up feelings of being left behind, inadequacy and being uninformed. I choked back a lump in my throat and held the tears back from my eyes as I told myself out loud what the truth is and how supportive the team is. I knew in my mind that it was going to be ok, but my emotions and the truth were duking it out. I took a short break after the meeting and walked around the building. Upon coming back in, I asked questions and found out I had an older version of the program being shared. We updated and all was well. I watched the recorded meeting, followed along and received the needed information. I then placed a sticky on my computer that simply had the word “truth” on top, then a horizontal line through the middle of the sticky and the work “feelings” under the line.
guidingleaders says
Thank you so much for sharing this story, Cyndi. Your experience captured beautifully what I hoped to illustrate in this article. We are sticky note soul mates as I have them all over my computer and bookshelves to remind me of learnings such as you described. Keep up the awareness of the information and gift of your emotions. It is so valuable as you well know.